24

11:30


As I write this post I’m sat in my brothers flat (waiting for the plumber, how exciting!) and sort of wishing I had my own space like this. Well, not exactly like this because everything here is so dark and messy and basically the opposite of what I’d want, but you get the idea, yeah? I’m 24 now (well, will be once this post goes live as my birthday is on the 21st) and with that comes the now regular ‘what the hell am I doing with my life’ crisis. In short: I have no idea. I have a job and a car, savings in the bank and many ~adult things but I still don’t feel like an adult.



If you didn’t know, I still live at home with my parents. I’m a real home comforts kind of girl and I struggle going away for more than a week because I like my own space, my bed and just *home*. So there’ll be no big exciting travel posts from me, I’m afraid! I’ve thought about getting my own place, but there’s so many factors that make it hard (location being number one!) and I think more than anything, I’d prefer to stay at home for now and just save as much as I can. Which isn’t as much as it could be because I can’t stop bloody spending! 



I don’t have a dream job - I never have had! So while I was a top of the class nerd at school, my drive kind of ended there? I went to University because I was always told how much potential I had, and what a waste it would be not to go, and basically, I was pressured into picking a course that suited my strengths. I don’t ~regret it so much, I had some great (and not so great) times, but now I have a shit load of debt and a job that I could have walked into without the degree. And it’s the whole job situation that gets to me most. I want to grow and progress in my career (there isn’t really anywhere else to go in the company I’m with now) but what do you do when you don’t have a clue what to look for, what you want to spend the next 50 years doing? On top of that, my anxiety, mainly my social anxiety, makes it SO hard for me to even think about applying for new jobs, never mind the thought of the whole interview process and having to meet new people, and it sucks. It really sucks. 



So I feel like I’m stuck in a bit of a rut and I don’t know how to get out of it? But then I have days where I just think about things and, y’know what, it could be a whole lot worse couldn’t it? I could be without a job, or in a job which I hate; I could be in a horrible flat/house or without the support of my parents, and really I just wanted to get this little brain fart out and say: it’s okay. I’m almost halfway to 50 (which is bloody scary) and I still don’t know what I’m doing, where I want to be in 5 or 10 years time. But it’s ok. 


Wearing: Blazer, Ralph Lauren (no longer available) - Tee, Primark (customised) - Jeans, Topshop - Belt, Boohoo (no longer available) - Boots, New Look (not online) - Bag, Valentino

If you stop comparing yourself to everyone around you, you’ll be much happier in yourself and what you’re doing. So what if your best friend from school has bought her own house and is planning a wedding; so what if the guy you liked at uni is travelling the world and seeing more than you’ll ever see. It’s ok. You never know what’s actually going on in other peoples lives when you only get to see their best bits. I know the bits that I share on social media are FAR from an accurate representation of my life right now. As, I’m sure, yours most likely are too. So if you're feeling anything like I do: just relax. Everyone has a different life manual and things really will be ok.



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