Learning To Love Yourself

08:00

heart autumn
red boots and check blazer
slogan tee & baker boy hat

Confidence is something that I have always, always lacked. I remember being in year 6 at primary school and my teacher said she wanted me to be Mary in the school Christmas play (we hadn't even done auditions) and the thought of being the centre of attention so much just freaked me out; I burst into tears and told her no. After I calmed down, she then asked if I'd like to be the main narrator. Opening the whole production? No thanks. Eventually we agreed I'd be narrator number 3 with minimal lines. Growing up with anxiety and extreme shyness is the absolute worst for your confidence. Obviously getting older, confidence grows naturally, but not always a great deal. I'm not good at putting myself out there (in fact, thats quite the understatement!) and when so-called friends put you down for being shy, it only pushes you back. 


amazon check blazer
back check blazer

I mentioned in my post all about the benefits of having a blog, that possibly the best thing is the confidence which it has given me. Not only the confidence to wear the outfits that I want to wear, but in life in general. And not only does this come from the ~community and getting so many supportive comments, but from constantly seeing and editing photos of myself. I've always hated having my photo taken and would hide in the back of group photos at every opportunity - but now I don't so much! Yes I still have days where I hate myself and don't even want to look in the mirror, never mind have photos taken of myself, but thats ok. When I take a step back and look how far I've come, it amazes me tbh. 


french slogan tee
blazer details

One thing that my mum has always said about me is that I'm my one worst enemy; I'm super critical of everything that I do. I was never satisfied that any of my school work was good enough (even if I was getting top marks in the class) and am especially hard on myself if I feel that I've been lazy or not done enough with my time. This criticalness spreads into my image of myself physically too! So when I first began shooting for fashion posts it was like a special kind of torture. It gave me even more ability to nitpick at everything that I didn't like about the way I looked - my thighs too big or my face not angled enough. But really, going through that was necessary (for me) to get me to the place where I am now, in not nitpicking and hating everything that I see. When you look at something enough, you start to see the good in there and learn to love the not-so-good. You realise that yeah, you might not look great from every angle, but thats just life. You might not suit short shorts but thats ok, because they're ugly af anyway! If you stop seeking out the negatives, the positives shine through and you learn to let go and allow yourself to be much happier. It's like a weight lifting off your shoulders that you didn't realise was there.


moschino bag
check blazer & baker boy hat



Blazer, FIND via Amazon


Tee, FIND via Amazon


Skirt, Topshop


Hat, TK Maxx (similar) 


Bag, Love Moschino (similar)


Boots, Kurt Geiger




red boots & white bag

As I mentioned, I obviously still have my fair share of bad days and don't always like how I look, but ain't that the same for all of us? I just think that, people can say posting photos of yourself on the internet so much is narcissistic, and yeah to some extent I agree, it clearly is, but when the personal benefits are (not to be dramatic) quite literally life changing, wheres the harm?


red boots outfit


Loves. Emma.

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