H E A R T A U T U M N

February was a terrible reading month for me. In fact, it was a terrible month for me in general. And there was no way I could do a monthly wrap-up featuring one lone book, so here we are with February and March combined! I started February in a reading slump; I was coming down from the high of reading (and loving) The Book Thief, and although I picked up a book I was sure to love, it just wasn't pulling me out of my slump and it took me weeks to finish. I then had some personal news which left me in quite a bad place, certainly unable to even pick up a book, let alone focus my mind enough to read. But March picked up somewhat when I focused all my energy on reading for escapism, so here we are with more books than I expected to be able to share with you!

Sweet Sorrow, by David Nicholls  ★★★

I love David Nicholls work and was sure I would love Sweet Sorrow, so this was my top choice to pull me out of my reading slump. I'm sad to say it didn't work! 

"In 1997, Charlie Lewis is the kind of boy you don't remember in the school photograph. His exams have not gone well. At home he is looking after his father, when surely it should be the other way round, and if he thinks about the future at all, it is with a kind of dread. Then Fran Fisher bursts into his life and despite himself, Charlie begins to hope."

I did love the book, the plot, the characters, the writing, all of it; it just wasn't wow enough for the mood I was in at the time? So this is definitely one that I'll revisit and I'm sure will enjoy much more when I'm in a better headspace. But the thing I adore most about Sweet Sorrow, and Nicholls work in general, is the way that the characters are all so flawed. No relationship, whether romantic, familial or friendship, is ever portrayed as perfect, and it all feels so real and raw and relatable. 

Animal Farm, by George Orwell ★★★★

I've had George Orwell novels on my must-read list for years now, but have simply been putting them off in favour of anything else that crops up. So I finally decided to tackle the top 2 back to back this month!

"All animals are equal - but some are more equal than others. When the downtrodden animals of Manor Farm overthrow their master Mr Jones and take over the farm themselves, they imagine it is the beginning of a life of freedom and equality. But gradually a cunning, ruthless elite among them, masterminded by the pigs Napoleon and Snowball, starts to take control"

Allegedly written about the Russian Revolution, Stalin, and the rise of Communism, I thought Animal Farm was such an interesting (if not very bizarre) read. I really did enjoy it! A fascinating way in which to portray how a revolution is started to stop what is happening and ends up going full circle to come to the same point it started from with a different face of power. It's a clever demonstration of how the ruling class makes a fool of the working class, using their energy and resources for their own pleasure. And yes, Benjamin was of course my favourite character. Sometimes you have to remain neutral and simply can't speak up, despite being the most intelligent one there.

1984, by George Orwell ★★★★

The other Orwell novel I've been wanting to pick up, and one I actually got to scratch off my 'top 100 books' poster. 

"Winston Smith works for the Ministry of Truth in London, chief city of Airstrip One. Big Brother stares out from every poster, the Thought Police uncover every act of betrayal. When Winston finds love with Julia, he discovers that life does not have to be dull and deadening, and awakens to new possibilities. Despite the police helicopters overhead, Winston and Julia begin to question the Party; they are drawn towards conspiracy. Yet Big Brother will not tolerate dissent - even in the mind. For those with original thoughts they invented Room 101..."

Orwell's terrifying vision of a totalitarian future in which everything and everyone is a slave to a tyrannical regime; this is definitely one you've got to be in the right headspace to read and properly digest. A world in which every aspect of living is controlled by the state, where history is rewritten and there is no real truth. I did really enjoy reading this, in the sense of how fascinating I found the dystopian world and was eager to see how it ended. But I read one review that said '1984 is not a particularly good novel, but it is a very good essay' and I think that sums it up perfectly for me? As a novel, it's not the best in storytelling and the characters are bland, but the points it makes are thought-provoking and you still care about the characters because of the things they have to live through.

If I Was Your Girl, by Meredith Russo ★★★★★

A friend recommended this book to me some time last year and I picked it up from Waterstones, then proceeded to put it on my shelf where it sat untouched for months. But after reading back-to-back Orwell I was craving some easy reading YA.

"Amanda Hardy is the new girl at school. Like everyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is holding back. Even from Grant, the guy she's falling in love with. Amanda has a secret. At her old school, she used to be called Andrew. And secrets always have a way of getting out..."

I actually devoured this book so fast, I bloody loved it! It's easy to read in the sense it is a super quick, fast-paced novel, but not in the sense of how heavy some of the subject matter is. I cried throughout, but I thought it was just such a beautiful story that managed to find a good balance between the intense subject matter and light-hearted teen fun. This is, shamefully, the first book that I've read with a trans main character and I'm really pleased that it's written by a trans author too. It's quite an eye-opener into what it can be like to transition as a teenager, the struggles, the reactions of those around you, and the support needed. But also heart-warming in so many ways. This book is excellent, important, emotional and one I'd recommend to all!

The Bell Jar, by Sylvia Plath ★★★★

The Bell Jar had been on my radar for quite some time, but it never really intrigued me all that much. I then started to see it pop up a lot on social media as other people were reading it, so  with it being another one to scratch off my poster I decided it was time to give it a go.

"When Esther Greenwood wins an internship on a New York fashion magazine in 1953, she is elated, believing she will finally realise her dream to become a writer. But in between the cocktail parties and piles of manuscripts, Esther's life begins to slide out of control. She finds herself spiralling into depression and eventually a suicide attempt, as she grapples with difficult relationships and a society which refuses to take women's aspirations seriously."

The original Sad Girls Novel! I am actually disappointed that it took so long before I picked this up. Following a frightening journey though the mind of a young girl suffering from depression in the 1950's, this isn't exactly a novel to 'enjoy' but it's definitely one to 'feel'. And feel it I did. Plath truly captures the emotional characterization of depression and the utter helplessness that accompanies it and it was one of those books that you finish and just sit in silence for a few minutes. It was certainly pleasing to see just how far we've come since the 50s/60s in terms of treating mental illness.

Natives, by Akala ★★★★

Although I made a promise to myself to read more non-fiction this year, this is sadly the first I've picked up. But at least it's a start, hey?

"From the first time he was stopped and searched as a child, to the day he realised his mum was white, to his first encounters with racist teachers - race and class have shaped Akala's life and outlook. In this unique book he takes his own experiences and widens them out to look at the social, historical and political factors that have left us where we are today."

Before I saw this book doing the rounds last year, I didn't actually know who Akala was. I'd only seen him pop up on twitter a few times before, sounding like an intelligent, well-informed individual - and this book definitely proved that. It is incredible how much knowledge Akala draws on to develop a very personal and compelling argument about race in the world today, and the way in which he weaves his own personal stories with larger historical facts is so well done. This book definitely taught me a lot about the history of the British Empire which shockingly is not taught in the education system and I had failed to do my own research on. But with his humour, wit and sardonic tone throughout this book is highly engaging and one I would certainly recommend.

It's been quite th 4 star month for me, hasn't it? Have you read any of these? Which is your favourite?

Loves. Emma.

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If you're looking for the best scenic walks, Yorkshire is without a doubt the place to be. (Not that I'm biased!) And it's one thing I've been especially grateful for over the past 12 months. February has been a hard & heavy month, having lost one of the people I love most, so it's been essential for me to get out of the house. Fresh air, perspective and freeing your mind is all too necessary when grieving. So off to Hardcastle Craggs I went last week, with my mum, for a nice little walk.

It's been a couple of years since I last went, but it's still as stunning as I remember. So whilst I'm not in the frame of mind to be writing think pieces (or any kind of pieces) on the blog, I just wanted to share some images of how beautiful a place it is.

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After really getting back the reading bug last year, I'm wanting to continue my little monthly wrap-ups. And they are little, because 4 books (which I accomplished in January) is a lot for me as a slow reader, to get through in one month alongside work and, y'know, life! But I like books, I like writing about books when I've enjoyed them, and the four I've read so far in 2021 have been rather great choices.

If you didn't read my last post, I'm trying to read more classics and highly-recommended books this year to tick off on my scratch-off poster of '100 must-read books'. So 3 of these 4 are for that reason, the other is just a highly anticipated read that I couldn't leave in my TBR pile for any longer. 

The Great Gatsby, by F Scott Fitzgerald ★★★★

It's somewhat embarrassing to admit I've not read so many of the greats until now, but I've always opted for contemporary over classic for the simple fact that they're easier to read and more relatable. But boy do I regret not picking this one up sooner!

"Set in the Jazz Age on Long Island, the novel depicts narrator Nick Carraways interactions with mysterious millionaire Jay Gatsby and Gatsby's obsession to reunite with his former lover, Daisy Buchanan."

Simply put, I loved it. I thought the prose was delightful and I loved the way it was told through the narrative of Carraway. I read a review on Goodreads that summarises 'As clear a portrait of a generation as has ever been put to pen, and Fitzgerald has done even better by making much of the qualities of this novel timeless, shining a bright light on all that is right, and much that is wrong, with our society and our culture.' and honestly, I couldn't have summed it up better myself? It's complex and multi-layered but subtle and simple at the same time. The only thing stopping it from being 5 stars for me is the actual plot; I can't help but feel like it was lacking something, but I don't know what.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, by Taylor Jenkins-Reid ★★★★★

TJR is fast becoming a must-buy author for me! After reading (and adoring) Daisy Jones and the Six this was a must-buy. I'd heard so many good things and it for sure did not disappoint.

"Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. When she chooses unknown magazine reporter Monique Grant for the job, no one in the journalism community is more astounded than Monique herself. Why her? Why now? Monique is not exactly on top of the world. Her husband, David, has left her, and her career has stagnated. Regardless of why Evelyn has chosen her to write her biography, Monique is determined to use this opportunity to jumpstart her career."

The remarkable thing with TJR is how she makes fictional stories and characters so so real. With Daisy Jones & The Six, I wanted to listen to their music even though it's not real, and now with The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, I want to watch Hugos back catalogue of movies even though it doesn't exist! The narrative in which the story was told was simply just magnificent, I loved Evelyn even when I didn't want to love her. Awful, complicated, completely lovable Evelyn who is a flawed, compelling, brave, ambitious woman. The twists and turns of the story weren't obviously predictable but also not all that shocking in surprise, if that even makes sense? The book tackles a lot of issues so fiercely and unapologetically, and I just know this is one I'll be picking up again to re-read soon.

Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll ★★★

When I saw this listed on my scratch-off poster I was in two minds whether to scratch it off; I know the story and read it many moons ago as a child but I don't remember reading it? So when I found the beautiful Wordsworth Classic Editions reduced on the WH Smith website I picked it up along with a few others and gave it a re-read.

"After a tumble down the rabbit hole, Alice finds herself far away from home in the absurd world of Wonderland. As mind-bending as it is delightful, Lewis Carroll's 1865 novel is pure magic for young and old alike."

You know what? This book is absolute madness. I'd forgotten quite how bizarre it all is, and reading it as opposed to watching the film is much harder; I'm not good at trying to come up with the visuals in my head and in all honesty, I found some of it a little tedious. There were adventures that I enjoyed of course, but essentially, I'm still unsure whether I think Lewis Carroll created a fantastic piece of fantasy or a great big pile of nonsense.

The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak ★★★★★

When I say I've been putting off reading this book for a long time, we're talking years. I've heard the hype, I've wanted to get involved, but I knew it was going to break me. And it shattered me.

"It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier, and will be busier still. By her brothers graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordian-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found. But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up and closed down."

Given that this is a YA book, it is easy to read in terms of writing style. However, given that it is set in Nazi Germany, it is often difficult to read it terms of the plot. I've read books set around the Holocaust before, both fact and fiction, but this was a unique take that I'd not come across. The way in which it is narrated by Death itself puts such a different spin on the book, and the way in which it doesn't focus on the story of the direct victims of Hitler, but the indirect. Germans who don't want to follow the Nazi regime but don't have much choice to do otherwise; who are hiding in shelters and losing loved ones as the country is bombed. The characters are rich, interesting and wily. The character development is second to none. And honestly, this is a book that I would recommend to any and everyone.

What have you read throughout January?

Loves. Emma.

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