H E A R T A U T U M N: 2019

A Wardrobe Upgrade For Spring

Some mixed feelings & A (VERY) late book discovery: February

Oh look, I'm giving those monthly round-up things a go again! This time I've decided not to focus on the exciting things I've done and the places I've been; it's too much pressure! So instead we're talking mundane; the lessons I've learnt and the books I've read; where I've found inspiration this month and the things that have made me happy. I've started bullet journalling this year (well I actually started in December but that was kind of a dummy run to see how I wanted to set things out and use it) and doing gratitude lists, writing down something that I'm grateful for each and every day, has made me so much more appreciative of the small things in life. I'm also gonna use this opportunity to share some of my favourite outfits of the month because, why not?
I didn't get round to doing a January round-up because I simply wasn't organised enough. So count this as somewhat of a two month catch-up!

Which leads me on to the fact that I used the January 'detox' idea to detox my social media; unfollow accounts that aren't inspiring or even interesting me and find new people to follow. I've broadened the ~spectrum~ of the accounts which I follow; more fitness, sustainability and creative photography accounts, unfollowing a lot of beauty and fashion accounts that I wasn't interested in seeing anymore. I love fashion and personal style don't get me wrong, that will always be at the heart of this blog, but I'm just becoming tired of a lot of instagrammers who all look and dress the same. The continuous fast fashion and repetitiveness that I'm stepping away from. And as for beauty, well, I'm never gonna be good at make-up and although I can appreciate the art, it's not really for me.
But despite this refresh of my feeds, I've found myself in somewhat of a rut lately; not knowing what to post, where or when; feeling uninspired with my own content and how I produce it. Should I edit things differently? Post at different times? Should I be doing styling videos even though I hate them? What kind of photos do I even want to be taking?! So I've simply taken a step back from posting on both here and Instagram. I never want to force content or put out things that I'm not proud of, so just having some 'time off' to think things over, have a little brainstorm and stop panicking has done me a world of good!

However, some people whose content has been inspiring me despite this:

MissKatyEnglish was a new discovery for me on Instagram in January. Her creative photos are just wonderful and she really makes me want to put more effort into the photos that I put out. My #SundaySelfPortrait's could be about to get a whole load more fun!
I've been following ThisIs_Lo on Instagram for a few years now and she's always been a firm favourite of mine. Her photography is constantly improving and her uniqueness in editing is something that again, is inspiring me to be more adventurous with my own content.
I couldn't talk about inspirations and not include Megan Ellaby. Both in blog posts and Instagram photos (not to mention her own clothing brand, Saturday!) Megan is my biggest inspiration when it comes to all things blogging. She's completely herself, has the best sense of style and just does things that bit differently!
Moving slightly away from content creators, two publications that I'm constantly hitting up are Man Repeller and Fashionista. Whether it's the written articles or simply looking at photos, the work they put into things is evident and it's just nice to read good female writing on topics that matter to me.

Since the new year, I've been ensuring to spend a lot more time reading and so far this has consisted of the Harry Potter books 1-5 (along with a few other picks) and I am cursing myself for never having read the series before. When they first came out I was a bit young and they didn't interest me, I just wanted to read Jacqueline Wilson! My brother had them all and I tried multiple times to get into them but just couldn't. I decided 2019 was finally the time to tackle them seeing as I love the films so much, and I have honestly been glued to them. I'm naturally a very slow reader so to have devoured over 8 books already this year is quite big for me! I can definitely see myself re-reading them often.

I mentioned earlier that I'd started gratitude lists, so here's a few things that have filled up Februarys list:

Being a morning person
Gaining confidence in the workplace
The feeling after a good workout
Enjoyment of baking
A-line skirts

I don't know what else to catch you up on this month? I've had some lovely days such as exploring Brighouse and visiting the Independent Sellers Market at Sunbridge Wells in Bradford, along with a day spent supporting my brother at a CrossFit competition which inspired me to get back to the gym. It's just recently been both my mum and my brothers birthdays too, so we've enjoyed some good family time and nice meals out. On Thursday I went to the theatre with a friend to see Matilda The Musical and it was WONDERFUL! And these are just the kind of things that I want the rest of 2019 to be filled with really!

How has February been for you?

Loves. Emma.

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But Am I Really A Feminist?

2018, for me, was a year of learning. I might not be in education anymore (and boy do I miss it!) but learning never stops. Whether its learning about other cultures, learning about those around you, learning about history or simply learning about yourself; we're always learning. And one of the biggest learning curves of 2018 for me was feminism.
Growing up, feminism was something I was never explicitly taught about nor had explained to me; it seemed almost like another world where women hated men and didn't shave their legs. Obviously that's not the case, and through growing up, reading and listening to others I can clearly understand that, but it's still what the patriarchy will have you believe.

Over the past year I've really tried to broaden the type of content that I consume. I've begun to follow more people of colour and trans people online; listening to their experiences and seeing the world from different points of view. I'm now following more writers and activists and I'm just (it seems like my favourite word in this post doesn't it, but) LEARNING. I've read more informative books and articles from some incredible writers, but the underlying feeling that I've had throughout all of this is that I don't feel like a feminist.

Even when you (quickly) get over the 'feminism is for men-hating' ridiculous ideology, it is still seen as such a loud word, for loud people who can make their voices heard and make a difference. Being a feminist means being unapologetically extroverted, right? I'm a very shy person, the most introverted introvert you will find, and so feminism feels scary and intimidating. It feels like public speaking and holding intelligent debates, it feels likes standing up and fighting back, it feels like all of the things that I've never been brave enough to do.

This morning I finished reading 'Feminists Don't Wear Pink & Other Lies' curated by Scarlett Curtis which I have devoured and loved and felt more inspired by than EVER. (It is an absolute must-read, please invest in a copy. 10% of the RRP goes to the girlUP charity!) There was one article in particular, by singer-songwriter and actor Alison Sudol titled 'My Feminism' that really struck a chord and had me screaming 'YES, me too!' in my head. She talks about how calling herself a feminist feels complicated; how it is seen to be something so extroverted, so intimidating, so no-nonsense. And she discusses how it is a lack of being educated on the topic that has led to this feeling. I could quote the whole article, it feels so relatable, but I won't. That wouldn't be fair, for one! But I will share this "My idea of feminism is a work in progress, and every time I edit this piece I find seventy-seven things to fix. And then I have to remind myself, I do not have to get everything right to be a part of this. The world is changing rapidly and there's a flexibility to this era that feels very exciting to me. ... I am hopeful, because so much is evolving, because I am part of the conversation and so are you, and each of us can bring our spirits, our hearts, our unique gifts, flaws and voices to a new way of doing things."
And I think that is the key to understanding your own feminism; understanding what unique things you can bring to the table and knowing that it won't be the same as anyone else.

Feminism is a very different thing to each individual. Maybe my type of feminism isn't organising protests and leading change, but that's ok. There are amazing women out there doing that, whom I will always support. People like Emma Gonzalez. Amika George. Nimco Ali. Not one of their feminism looks the same because they're different people with different things to bring to the table. Maybe my type of feminism is more subtle, but still very much necessary. Maybe my type of feminism is discussing with colleagues at work the type of language they use and changing their thought process; maybe my type of feminism is writing posts like this and hoping to educate or help even one person; maybe my type of feminism is buying from and supporting female owned brands. It might not be grand gestures and shape-shifting movements but it's enough.

By definition, feminism is the movement fighting for equality of sexes. Fighting to end discrimination based on gender, sexual orientation, skin colour, ethnicity, religion, culture or lifestyle. So if you believe in that, and you agree with that, if you offer up what help you can give to fight towards that, then you are a feminist. And don't let anyone tell you any different.