H E A R T A U T U M N: January 2019

The Importance Of Like-Minded Friends

2018, for me, was a year of learning. I might not be in education anymore (and boy do I miss it!) but learning never stops. Whether its learning about other cultures, learning about those around you, learning about history or simply learning about yourself; we're always learning. And one of the biggest learning curves of 2018 for me was feminism.
Growing up, feminism was something I was never explicitly taught about nor had explained to me; it seemed almost like another world where women hated men and didn't shave their legs. Obviously that's not the case, and through growing up, reading and listening to others I can clearly understand that, but it's still what the patriarchy will have you believe.

Over the past year I've really tried to broaden the type of content that I consume. I've begun to follow more people of colour and trans people online; listening to their experiences and seeing the world from different points of view. I'm now following more writers and activists and I'm just (it seems like my favourite word in this post doesn't it, but) LEARNING. I've read more informative books and articles from some incredible writers, but the underlying feeling that I've had throughout all of this is that I don't feel like a feminist.

Even when you (quickly) get over the 'feminism is for men-hating' ridiculous ideology, it is still seen as such a loud word, for loud people who can make their voices heard and make a difference. Being a feminist means being unapologetically extroverted, right? I'm a very shy person, the most introverted introvert you will find, and so feminism feels scary and intimidating. It feels like public speaking and holding intelligent debates, it feels likes standing up and fighting back, it feels like all of the things that I've never been brave enough to do.

This morning I finished reading 'Feminists Don't Wear Pink & Other Lies' curated by Scarlett Curtis which I have devoured and loved and felt more inspired by than EVER. (It is an absolute must-read, please invest in a copy. 10% of the RRP goes to the girlUP charity!) There was one article in particular, by singer-songwriter and actor Alison Sudol titled 'My Feminism' that really struck a chord and had me screaming 'YES, me too!' in my head. She talks about how calling herself a feminist feels complicated; how it is seen to be something so extroverted, so intimidating, so no-nonsense. And she discusses how it is a lack of being educated on the topic that has led to this feeling. I could quote the whole article, it feels so relatable, but I won't. That wouldn't be fair, for one! But I will share this "My idea of feminism is a work in progress, and every time I edit this piece I find seventy-seven things to fix. And then I have to remind myself, I do not have to get everything right to be a part of this. The world is changing rapidly and there's a flexibility to this era that feels very exciting to me. ... I am hopeful, because so much is evolving, because I am part of the conversation and so are you, and each of us can bring our spirits, our hearts, our unique gifts, flaws and voices to a new way of doing things."
And I think that is the key to understanding your own feminism; understanding what unique things you can bring to the table and knowing that it won't be the same as anyone else.

Feminism is a very different thing to each individual. Maybe my type of feminism isn't organising protests and leading change, but that's ok. There are amazing women out there doing that, whom I will always support. People like Emma Gonzalez. Amika George. Nimco Ali. Not one of their feminism looks the same because they're different people with different things to bring to the table. Maybe my type of feminism is more subtle, but still very much necessary. Maybe my type of feminism is discussing with colleagues at work the type of language they use and changing their thought process; maybe my type of feminism is writing posts like this and hoping to educate or help even one person; maybe my type of feminism is buying from and supporting female owned brands. It might not be grand gestures and shape-shifting movements but it's enough.

By definition, feminism is the movement fighting for equality of sexes. Fighting to end discrimination based on gender, sexual orientation, skin colour, ethnicity, religion, culture or lifestyle. So if you believe in that, and you agree with that, if you offer up what help you can give to fight towards that, then you are a feminist. And don't let anyone tell you any different.