emma copland
autumn
red roll neck jumper

The days are long, the sleep broken and the exhaustion never-ending. So why are we a generation obsessed with being busy?

I'm not even being dramatic when I say I'm burning myself out. I sat and cried the other morning (a Sunday morning) looking at my to-do list. A list of tasks that I have set myself, that nobody else is going to hold me accountable for, things that absolutely were not necessary, things that would've waited a day or 5. And that was a sign that I should have climbed back into bed and had a duvet day, like everyone proclaims that Sundays are meant for, right? But how many of us actually spend Sundays being lazy anymore? 
I had a day off work sick a few weeks back; my IBS was hell and I'd been up every couple of hours through the night running to the toilet, so I had a legitimate reason to call in sick and spend the day on the sofa watching Harry Potter movies (whilst still running to the toilet, soz). But I felt guilty for spending a day doing nothing? I kept telling myself how rare it was to get a day with no plans, and wouldn't it be good to be productive? I simply couldn't switch my brain off and so ended up finishing a blog post I'd been working on and editing an IGTV video (whilst watch HP, of course).

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I work a fairly standard 9-5, 5 days a week, with a 40 minute commute each way. I'm quite grateful for the commute tbh as it proves the perfect time to catch-up on the ever-growing list of podcasts I'm subscribed to! But it still makes for fairly long days, especially when I try to go to the gym on at least 2 evenings, because the gym isn't open early enough for me to have time in a morning! I do sometimes get up early for yoga in a morning to de-stress, but honestly, as much of a morning person as I am, sometimes it's nice to just have an extra 30 minutes in bed. Then there's trying to cook a healthy dinner each night, meal-prep lunches so that I don't end up going to Greggs for a vegan sausage roll everyday (they are bloody good though), and wanting to spend at least half an hour reading before bed on a night. I'm a really slow reader and my TBR pile is getting out of hand - not to mention the constant stream of movies/TV series that I want to watch too!
My favourite way to fit in some quiet time each day is with my bullet journal; writing my daily gratitude list, keeping on top of plans and simply doodling away. I also have numerous colouring books/sketch pads/painting canvases/cross stitch designs because I love to make time for creative hobbies but honestly, they sit collecting dust! Jigsaws are my guilty pleasure for downtime too but I got an 'impossipuzzle' one last year that I still haven't completed.

Everything that should be light-hearted down-time is beginning to feel like a pressure.

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Trying to keep my blog/instagram/IGTV up-to-date on top of this tends to fill my weekends. Shooting photos, filming the occasional video, editing, writing, scheduling; not to mention making time to read other peoples blogs and keep on top of everyone elses content can be long. And I don't want it to feel like a chore, I want it to continue to be a fun hobby, hence why I often end up not sticking to any kind of schedule or being all that consistent.

And with all this, something has to give and it is always my social life. Spending time with my family comes before friends because they're my favourite people, sorry! But being around people and having to socialise is so so draining for an introvert like me that I purposefully push it to the back burner all. of. the. time.  I was so relieved last week when I'd planned to go for drinks with some old friends and because some couldn't make it in the end, we rescheduled and I got a Saturday night in sheltered from the rain. But again I ended up using that time to edit some photos because I don't seem to stop? It might not seem like I do a lot compared to some people online, with my sporadic blog posts, once in a blue moon IGTV videos and average-at-best instagram photos, but there's a lot of work that goes into them, crafting my skills, and a lot of work on other projects that aren't online. 

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black beret
ogden water

So I'm putting this here to hold myself accountable; I'm not waiting for the new year to make a change and set myself goals. I'm prioritising myself, both my mental and physical health, because I've run myself down these past few weeks and am now full of cold and feeling rubbish! I want to go for long walks without my camera and the pressure to get content; I want to take the time for face masks and doing my nails every week; I want to set aside a few hours each week for no screen-time; and most of all I want to start booking more spa days and staycations to just get away from home and out of the monotonous headspace.

Because really, why do we feel such a pressure to constantly be busy? Why can we not have a day off and not feel guilty about sitting on the sofa and doing absolutely nothing productive? Why do we not know when to stop?

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autumn leaves


Loves. Emma.